Sitting and thinking

My mind is running a million miles an hour tonight. I have all the kids down to bed so I am left with quiet time. Alot has happened in the past 5 months. We have had a few deaths in the family. Russ's brother, a great aunt, and my dad (4/13/13). This has been a huge blow here. My dad was my world along with my mom. I am very close with my parents and grandparents. It was a huge blow to the diva also. Before my dad passed which was very unexpected we decided it is time We have kenadie's DNR on file with the hospital. She is to a point where anything can happen and this momma has to be prepared. She continues to have blood pressure highs and lows. She relys more on her pacemaker than one feels comfortable with at times. We also went to see our heart dr in march. Which might I add irked my sister off while we are there. She lives in NC. So we stayed with her and she went with us to the appointments. :) So that appointment didn't boad to well with us. As he didn't listen to what we had to say about our diva. Then referred us to the immunology dept who didn't have much to say other than we waited for a NP to come in and tell me we needed to stay another few days for bloodwork. Which was a waste of time. We opted not to. After our heart visit we got the clearance to go on our MAKE a WISH. I wish I would have blogged during it like i had planned.So we got home from our heart venture around march 13thish. Don't quote me. Then daddy gets ill goes to the ER and admitted and he passes in the hospital. Very unexpected. Then the following week we go to MAW. We all needed the wish. I can't thank MAW enough for that blessing that my family was given. It truly brought some peace. It also made my little diva feel normal if only for a week. The day we arrived she was upset about being special. The day we left she said mommy I don't mind it. I am like these kids. Every child she seen with a feeding tube made her excited because she had a belly button just like them. I bawled my eyes out numerous times. I definitely should have brought lots of kleenex with me. Then she got her wish and that was meeting Cinderella. The look on her face just made it all. the excitement and thrill was amazing. I got our photopass in the mail today. So there will be a slideshow coming soon. She seen Cinderella pictures today and went bananas. I tried to keep my facebook up to date when we went. Her page is Campaign Kenadie and mine is Alisha Hancock-Brown. So the diva now. She is still so up and down. I thank God her pediatrician deals with my wig outs. Her blood pressure never likes to cooperate. She passed out in the resteraunt two weeks ago. People just made harsh comments. I try to allow her to live a normal life but its hard. I want to put her in a little bubble. Protect her from what is not right or bad in the world whether that is germs or people. She is such a caring and loving child. Beautiful spirit. I can't wait to upload some of the disney trip now! Well bed is calling. I will try and blog more and not every 6 months.