A weekly update!

Hello all! First I have to say thank you so much to the readers that read this blog. I can't say how much we love your support even for those that dont post! ;)
So life has been a bit chaotic as of late. Our godson was born on the 13th! He is so handsome! Of course I might be a bit biased. Genesis told me mom since you could not keep my brother in your belly I have a godbrother. Let's just say I bawled my eyes out. (btw i have not really told her about angel robert! kids they know!) Then I took G up to the hospital to see her aunt tonya and she got so upset bc she thought that aunt tonya was going to have to be there for a very long time just like kenadie and mommy had to be. Again I cried. I almost feel like I have ruined my child. ugh. Then tonight I had to take K to the hossy and she says bye mommy I will see you tomorrow. You will sleep at the hospital and I will sleep in your bed like I usually do when you are gone. At least she keeps my side of the bed warm! ;) lol. So you read that right I had to take k to the ER tonight. Which i was very nervous about doing bc of the H1N1 crap. WE might have had the flu but even the docs were like RUN out of here when they dc'd us! lol. K's intestines are moving slower now so we are having problems with her tube. Just part of her AD. Then she got spastic on us which made her home health (hh) very nervous. But she remained calm. Then we got home and her hr plunged down to 64. Good thing I dont really get excited anymore. Now her nurse did a bit. Just bc this is the first time for her to experience it. she did good. Whish we could keep her around more. :)
K has gained almost a lb since getting her new tube! So we are so excited about that. She is pulling up all the time now. Can't keep this girl sitting anymore.
I am having a hard time lately. It is hard to accept reality when you are so busy you dont allow yourself to. Then nights like tonight slap you in the face. :*( I don't get it. I dont understand. How does a worthless peice of poop get a child kill it with abuse and my baby has to endure this stuff. I know it could be worse and pleases dont remind me of that. I have had plenty of those reminders. When we checked in the ER the lady took one look at k and goes are you sure she has these issues. Nah we are just bored and had nothing else to do. lol. But when they seen her temp bottom out. The nurse quickly changed her tune. Btw the triage nurse. She needed a good drink or a good night with a man! She was so RUDE! The docs on the other hand knew us. So we were in and out very quickly. :) When momma cried the hh nurse was so sweet. She was like you are doing a great job with her. She's beautiful. Thanks but this is the hardest job God gave me. Well i am off to do some farming on my fb. lol. Night! Please email if you have any questions. I am an open book about her condition.