Our update for today

Hello all. Sorry i have not been on in a while. I have been crazy busy. Okay so the pneumonia is tons better. Still there but better. She is finally OFF oxygen. :) I am so excited about that. She has to have it at feedings but eh much better than all the time. She did gain some weight but we lost some of it two days ago and have yet to gain it back. The on call pedi seems not to be bothered by it. So whatever. The pedi wants to try her on regular feeds today. She says that they might have to go back to tube feedings but they want to evaluate her on the feeding situation. I am open to that but scared of a back slide. We have had our two steps forward i am not ready for any backwards.
I am really considering going to pumping exclusively. Just because she gets tired at the breast and we can not track her real input output like her heart doc needs. I just can't make that decision. It is so hard. I really dont want to have to pump all the time. But dont want to have to do formula at all costs. I just dont know.
As for me. I am much better now that the doc assisted me with some medication. I am not as emotional and feel much better about the situation. I am very nervous for our cardi appt on Tuesday. I am so nervous everytime they have a echo and stuff. I just want to get it done and over with. I hate that cloud hanging over me. It SUCKS! But yeah. Well i will update more tomorrow. Hopefully home before christmas!

So i have to say i was right

Kenadie had to get her tube back. She did not throw up but could not consume enough to maintain what she needs to. They are going to slowly work her up to bolouse feeds then go back to regular feeds.
I did call her pedi and talk to her and she did not know what was goingon. Thank goodness i listened to my gut.

are you serious?

So the pedi comes in this morning and they notice her tubing needs to be moved to the other side. So the pedi says lets just let her eat from a bottle today. Okay let me remind you of how bolouse feedings go with her... VOMIT CITY! So this pedi did not consult with my pedi. My pedi wanted a slow increase in feeds, then go to bolouse feeds, then bottle, then back to breast. I asked her how we can prevent her from aspirating she says we really can't. Just once she starts vomitting then lean her forward. I am going to put a call into my pedi tonight before her clinic closes and try and chat with her. I have this gut feeling this is not going to go good. So far i have been right with this. Oh the pedi says if she vomitts then they will put a tube down the other side. I am just not cool with this business. So here we go again. Maybe it will work and we can go home soon!

NO PEDI???!!

So we are sitting here waiting for a pedi to come. I have asked multiple times who is on service and who is coming and no one knows! This is uncalled for! I mean hello run your service better than that. Sorry i am rather frustrated right now.

Kenadie gained some more weight last night. So that is good. She is starting to look a bit chunky in the face. Funny since we haven't even gained a lb but she looks chunky to me. lol. We are finally in newborn clothes. They hang on her but the most of her preemie clothes are too short. The newborn ones are too big and too long but what else to put on the kid when we can. kwim. She had some breathing problems last night. And has this morning and the resp therapist is no where to be found either. Finally our nurse came to let us know they are waiting on the pharmacy to send her meds up to her.
well that is our short update. once i know some more i will try and update.

Today's update

Hello all.. so today was an okay day. She gained some weight but she has some swelling so we are hoping that this is true weight gain. Her breathing is not any better in fact she is having more problems so they did another chest xray and another cbc and her white blood count came back showing she does have an infection. So they started her on the antibiotics. They also changed her breathing treatments to one that wont affect her heart as much. They just did one on her and it was MUCH better than the others. Her hb stayed at 163. No rapid fluctuations. So that is good. Her pedi that was on today did not do a real thorough assessment. I can't wait till our pedi comes back tomorrow. Just not the same.

As far as me.. I am doing okay. I am going to go to the ob this week and talk to him about ppd. I think the mixture of everything going on is what is kicking my tail. I am starting to snap at any little thing that my dh does or anyone else. Plus i think that some people "try" to help and it just kinda insults me. Like some comment.. "is it something you took in pregnancy?" "was it your injections during pregnancy?" I mean COME ON?! Don't think i am struggling enough with a sick child?! Okay that is my rant.
Thanks so much for the prayers.

Today's update

So today has been an okay day. She lost 7oz of weight from yesterday but we think that is mostly bc she did not have a bm for two days and her tummy was so distended. Then we took our three steps back again.. They had to raise her oxygen. They tried giving breathing treatments but can't give a whole one due to her heart. Her hb gets way to high and it can send her in heart failure. We are praying her amonia does not turn into bacterial. Right now it is viral. (Got told she had it last night) Then we got some blood values that came back crappy. Not for infection but for her co2 levels. they are not sure if she has some other problem that is causing it. Possibly polystenosis (sp?) or something else that i can't remember. We will know more about that at a later time. I believe they are going to follow up on it on monday or so. But the pedi says we might not have "true" answers until she is 4-6wks old. She spiked a fever one time today but but she has not had one since. Also we are finally done with JAUNDICE! We have one more heel prick in a week to ensure it is not coming back on her but her levels were 3! PRAISE God! That is about it. I can't remember all of it as i am so freaking tired and exhausted.

Well i guess i knew our steps backwards were coming!

As the title explains it all. We just took 10 steps backwards. Kenadie is on O2 now. My aunt was holding her and i noticed she was looking too purple in the face. Me being in the med field knew what to look for and finally went and got the nurse. Yep i was right. Her O2 stats were too low. So they said they had to put her on O2. Also after i did my update she vomitted once while my ob came in to talk to me. Then she vomitted in her bed. When she did that her hr went to 228bpm. NOT GOOD! So they put in an express call to her pedi to call the cardi. Since he does not work here. We have not heard back from him yet but i dont expect to hear until 6pm cst or tomorrow morning. Then her respirations became too fast and have been that way this afternoon. But they are better. We are back on continous feeds using breastmilk with human milk fortifier in it. (extra calories). They said they were going to take her tube out but nope not going to do that in. Btw she has a NG tube down in the left nostril. She gets her feeds, meds, and whatever else through there.
We might get moved to the bigger hossy that has the cardi doc there. That bums me out bc i dont like the hospital or anything. I know the docs are great there and well versed but i dont like their medicine team too much. So we are praying we get to stay here until it is vital to move there. I mean i will do whatever we have to do when we need to do it.
My doc called for a lactation consult. They wanted lactation to talk to me about pumping and then about drying up if need be. Right now i am just an emotional bag and really did not want to address it. I will deal with it when i need to. kwim. Not pertent to me right now. I am pumping every 3-4hrs and i can get anywhere from 10-18oz per session. So no worries on that part. I also have about 300 oz at home in the freezer. So not worried. If i dont get to use it i will donate it to the breast bank.
Right now i am more than just upset. When we think we are doing something good and moving forward. We get set back to like negative square one. I just want to take my baby home. I know people have bigger issues out there and what not and they have longer stays in the hossy. (this damn nurse keeps saying that to me.) I am not trying to be selfish but this is a big deal to me and my family. kwim. Well that is about it. Thanks so much for all the support. If something happens i will update. Thanks again!

Today's morning update.

hello all. well the pedi came by this morning. kenadie did not lose weight and did not gain weight. so that is a good thing i guess since we did not lose. kenadie's bili levels are down to 6 now! YAY! That is so exciting. She is hoping the humidifer helps kenadie's breathing out. If not we will re-eval that situation. Tomorrow is her hip u/s. I really dont want to go to that but eh whatever. Just get it done while we are in here. I am just hoping for no displasyia. The doc said some ramblings of maybe going home next weekend. She said if we do allow you to go home then we will have home health care. Which at this point i am all for. I just want to go home. Kenadie has to be off the feeding tube and gaining weight before they will entertain the idea. We are getting my docs partner after saturday. Which really bums me out but i like her alot too.. Just not our pedi. kwim.
Oh they are going to try her feeds every other hour now through the tube with hmf in my breastmilk. This is her test to see if we can continue breastfeeding. If not then this momma is going to dry up. I feel like my life is connected to a pump right now and i HATE it. It would be different if i knew that she would be able to feed again and would be using it. Right now i am in limbo! I am so tired and worn down. I dont want to leave the hossy bc she can do so good one minute and a few minutes later just be vomitting and what not.
well i think that is about it. i am going to take a nap before my fil comes up to see us.

Today's update

Hello all. Today we are having a rough day. The morning started out with a weight loss. Then our jaundice levels went up a smidge. Kenadie has developed a horrible cough with her bronchitis and had some distress a bit ago. My fil had to bring up a cool mist humidifer bc they dont have one in the building. Then her rsv test got jacked up so they are going to have to redo it. Which really ticks me off! I am hoping that her pedi has something good to say tomorrow. I also seen kenadie's heart beating through her chest when she was having her refractions. That is not supposed to happen. So we may have another echo again.
The girls came up for a bit also. They went to school today and had so much fun. Well i am feeling really run down and i need some strength and sleep.

Surgery in 2weeks to 2mths.

Hello all. Well our appt was okay i guess. I mean we got good news about heart functions. But we were told we are having surgery anywhere from 2wks to 2mths. It is a wait and see thing. At the first sign of heart failure they will do her surgery then. But if not then they will wait till she is 8wks old. Now we have to gain some weight to do the surgery. Also they are going to close both the holes in her heart. She will need two heart surgeries. One now and then one when she is 1yro. He is concerned about her slow growth. He is not sure if it is the heart causing this, prematurity, or something else. They are going to be running some blood work on her to find out if anything else is the cause. He took her off one of her heart meds and started another and they are going to keep a close eye on her and make sure that she is not going into failure or anything with the adjustments. We were also informed that we will be in the hospital until we have significant growth, weight gain, and we have our surgery. So we have a LONG journey in the hospital. :( He is being nice and keeping us at the hospital where we like. It is close to dh's work, my house, and just conveinent. So that is our update on that matter. Btw she just vomitted so the nurse is cleaning her up. We were doing so good today too. UGH!
I got to see the girls today. No fevers so i had dh bring them up to see me. They were not allowed to get close to the baby but they got to see her and watch the nurses take her temps and give meds. Genesis thought that was so cool. Alexus told the nurse NO NO NO HURT! Then we took the girls down to the playroom here and then watched a video. Then i took them back to my grandma's. Genesis asked me why we can't sleep at our house with baby kenadie. I tried to explain.. She was like momma i love you and i miss you. God my heart breaks. I just dont know i can do this for 2mths. Alexus told me "BYE MOMMA! HAVE FUN!" As long as she has toys and her granddad she is all good.
The financial councelor came in today.. I am hoping we can get a bit of help with all this stuff going on. They are going to help me fill out the forms.
That is about the update for now. They are going to reaccess her bronchitis tomorrow and then decide if she needs antibiotics and an IV.

Today's mini update

Today we did not gain weight but did not lose any. However her pedi is concerned bc she has not pooped in 1.5days so it is not a "true weight". Her bili is down to 9.7! That is awesome. We have been there before so our pedi said not much celebrating until her levels are down to 0 and stay there for a couple days. So that was our good news.
Now for the steps back.. she now has bronchitis.. which is NOT good. Then the pedi said she could feel her liver and spleen today. That is not a good thing. So we are praying that we dont get stuck at OUMC CHO. But she is concerned bc her respirations are faster than what they are supposed to be. We willbe having another echo when we go and see the doc today. WE go at 1pm cst.
That is about all i know for right now. I will update more later as i know more.

Two steps forward and one step back

Essentially we are on the NICU theme. Two steps forward one step back. So our two steps forward and great news is that he jaundice is 12.7! That is awesome. We are down 4 points in one day! we are so happy about that news.
Our step back is she lost all the weight she had gained since Friday. :( We don't know why she is not holding her weight. She is back down to 5.6 now. Very frustrating.
They doc is having us go to the cardiologist this week. She will get a little ambulance ride there and then we will come back here. They want to look at her ticker again and see if her lasix is causing her issues. She is also going to have an u/s on her hip next week. They are concerned about hip displasia and if so then they will decide what to do about that.
Her pedi did tell us that she is going to keep rounding on her. They usually switch docs every Friday but she said since she is a complicated case she would feel more comfy taking care of her by herself. Her pedi is rather frustrated btw with her situation.. She walked in this morning and goes "kenadie you could at least maintain your weight girl and make me look like a good pedi!" I just laughed bc she was this way when she was in the uterus.
My other two girls are doing much better. No fevers or anything anymore. So if they are better tomorrow then i might let them come up. The pedi said 48hrs no fever and they did not have one yesterday evening so we shall see. I am going to go see them this afternoon since the pedi said i could and i just have to make sure that i sanitize sanitize.
Me personally i am just an emotional bag. I want to be at home with my family and enjoy my new baby. Instead of going to see friends and family with my baby we are stuck in a hossy and dealing with this stuff. I want to be able to bond with my baby and be able to breastfeed her but nope got deal with the tube down her nose. I am also emotional bc the holiday season is coming up. I dont know how i am going to handle all that. The medical bills are killing us right now. We no where expected to have to pay all this out of pocket. I do know it will all work out and my girls will be taken care of somehow. It just sucks that i am their mother and i just feel like i am not doing my job good enough for them. This just sucks! Well i will update when i have more info to update on. I think her GI will be coming in soon.

Our update for today

So today we got mixed news. Kenadie got put on some more meds. Reglan to help with digestion as we vomitted our continous feeds last night a few times. Then she is on some other med to help her tummy. Then her heart meds are staying the same. Her jaundice is down 1 more point. So we are going in the right direction we just have a ways to go with that. Then we got the news today that we are probably going to have to have heart surgery for sure. Her echo was a bit changed from friday. More pressure on the right side of the heart. However the meds are doing their job and not letting it enlarge or anything. So we have to gain weight, keep it on, get rid of the jaundice, and THEN they will tell us when we will have heart surgery. I was a bit bummed to hear about this but i know it is what ever is best for her and that is what we will do. I miss holding her and nursing her and being able to have those bonding moments. I hate having to just shove a binky in her mouth when she gets upset.
We need prayers for my other two girls as they are sick. They have high fevers, chest congestion, and just plain dont feel good. They have a virus per their pedi. Which is NOT good at all for Kenadie so they are having to stay away and i am not allowed to be around them since I am the primary one that is taking care of her. So we need some healing vibes for them so they can come see their sister and i can see them.
I also want to let you people know that i appreciate all the support and prayers, the emails, and everything. I have a great cousin who keeps pouring out her suport even though she is like 1wk post partum herself (yes she had her baby.. about a wk ago.. 10lbs 4oz 23inches long) then my grandparents i swear are angels themselves. they have offered to take care of my girls for us. part of this does not surprise me as they have taken care of them since they were tiny babies themselves when i had to go to work. I will check with my cousin to get her permission to share a pic of kenadie and her cousin together. They are so cute! Double K! (his name starts with a K) Well that is our update for today. I will try and hop on this weak internet connection when i can and update. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

today's update

so today we got the news that we are in here for a long time. well long time to us. the doc says about a week or two. she is on continous feeds through her tube bc she could not handle bolouse feeds.

Back in the hossy

We are back in the hossy. We will be there for a few days. She is on a feeding tube and we are hoping her jaundice numbers come down. Her heart is having to work too hard for her jaundice and eating so that is why we had to go this route. I am going to have to go. I will try and update tomorrow.

Kenadie needs more prayers!

Hello everyone.. i am asking for more prayers for Kenadie. Today we went to the doc and she has lost 5.5oz and is now under her birth weight. :( Her jaundice has rose drastically since getting it down under 9 and is now 15. Tomorrow morning at 8am if she has not gained enough and jaundice is not down we are back in the hospital and then GI will do a consult and another heart consult. They put her on a special formula for tonight to see if we can get her to keep some of her feedings down. This almost kills me as i am very pro breastfeeding (btw i make tons of milk so production is not an issue.. when i say tons i make about 10oz per side at a pumping session right now) but i know it is best for her and i will do whatever i can in my power to make her well. I am praying that soon we can have our baby home and to us and not have to go to docs every day and be able to enjoy my baby and my family.
Also my girls are sick with colds and i need some potent healing vibes. Kenadie can NOT get sick at all until the holes in her heart closes or we are right back in the hossy again! Well i will update tomorrow.

Kenadie's update! (same as pal)

Hey ladies. We are home from the hossy. We got released late yesterday evening. She has an ASD and a VSD ( one hole at the top of the heart and a hole on the bottom part of the heart.. which that is the trouble maker) The bottom one is causing pressure on the right side of the heart and it is 5mm.. which is small to us but a baby that is only 5lbs it is huge. So we are on two heart meds and we go to the cardi every two weeks and have echos every two weeks until she is 8-12wks old then we decide heart surgery or not.
Now today we had to go back to the pedi. We have not gained weight in 5 days, jaundice went up 3.5 points today for a level of 13.9 which i must say is DA@$ frustrating bc we were on hossy lights also. ERGH! So now we have to go have a liver u/s done and the hossy did not test liver function so my pedi had to draw up bw for that also. Now i must say i HATE U/S the last one gave us news i would have preferred to live without. So just wondering if you could spare some prayers for the liver u/s. We have to do weight checks eod and billi checks eod also.

I just recieved a call about her u/s for liver. Tom morning at 830am is when we will have it and doc should have the results come our 2pm appt. She also has the bw in and she is going to call me on her lunch hour. So i am praying for good news.

Kenadie is in the hossy NEED PPT!

Kenadie is in the hossy.. she was lathargic and not eating well on friday. We found out she has two holes in her heart. We see cardi tomorrow and get to findout when she may get to come home. Please pray for her!

Tomorrow is the day and an update!

Tomorrow is the day Kenadie will go to the hossy for her EKG and her Upper GI test. I am nervous as any mother would be. I am just praying that it all goes well. While at the pedi today her pedi said that when she was crying that her murmur was louder than normal. I hope that is just normal since she was just not a happy camper that she was nakey on the scale! lol. Today we gained 2oz and jaundice levels went down by one point. We are doing one day off phototherapy per the doc as she wants to see if it is going to creep up or go down. So Kenadie is in her nightgown now. That is a bit of a rariety since she has to be in just a diaper when on the lights.
Kenadie also had a big day after the docs. She went to go see my cousin that is having a baby very very soon (like by Saturday). Btw i can't wait till she has her little man.. Any easy labor vibes will be accepted and shipped her way! :) Then Kenadie went to my job with me to turn my fmla forms in. She got to see all my residents there. They looked her over a million times. Thank goodness they all did not try and do neuro exams on the poor kid! LOL. jk! Then we came home and had a big nap. Mom and baby were so tired. :)
My incision is hurting so bad tonight. I am a bit afraid of infection as it is so sore and part of it is warm to the touch. When i am at the docs tomorrow i am going to have them peek at it to make sure it is fine and dandy.
Please say a prayer for Kenadie for her appts tomorrow! Thanks!

Kenadie's Birth Story (Really long and copied from pal)

Hey everyone .. Finally getting a minute to post her story.
Short version: 10/27/08 753am 5.37lbs 17.25 inches

Long version: So I went to the doc 10/20 and they said she was frank breech and that we would try a version on 11/11 and then do an induction. At that appt i told him something was not right something was wrong. He checked her fluid and said she is fine from that aspect but did not have a u/s tech to check growth or placenta. Told me to come back on 10/27 and he would have them do it. To keep an eye on fetal movement and what not. Okay great. So 10-26 i had an odd feeling that day.. like tons of anxiety.. even on friday something did not sit well with me. and i completed almost everything at work and they said i would have her over the weekend bc of the way i was acting. So back to 10-26 i had contrx for the most of the day.. did not think a thing of it since well you ladies know my history my uterus does not shut up! lol. Dh and i went and got my mom and we took the kids to haunt the zoo.. we even joked around about what if i went in labor there. well contrx were slamming me every 1.5mins but again thought nothing of it. We had tons of fun with the kids and my mom. When we were done i told my mom .. something is not right.. kenadie is not moving alot. She says go home lay down.. drink something sugary and see what happens. So on the drive home i told aaron (dh) that i had this weird feeling we would have her tomorrow. He said yeah right and laughed me off. Well we get home i do my macro econ exam and have huge anxity.. like crazy. I told my dh i was going to bed now that i felt kenadie do a dance and was fine. Well i went to bed.. had a nice little dream that included an O. *blush* I woke up when dh's alarm went off for work and felt wet. Thought it was from my nice little dream.. and told dh to help me roll over that my hips hurt and i think i need to go pee. I roll over and gush in my bed. I told dh umm i think my water just broke or i peed on myself. He said yeah right.. prob just exaggerating again. Then i sit up in bed.. GUSH! Umm hun my water is broke... still does not believe me and my 4yro is now awake and tells me i need a spanking for peeing my panties. I stand up niagra falls happens.. really dh believed me this time! It soaked my pants, sock, the floor. I went pee and was in a bit of denial..then i stood up and niagra falls the 2nd happened. Thank god i put on an overnight pad! lol. I told dh i would drive myself.. yeah did not sit well so i called my mom bc i could not get anyone else to wake up to answer their phone. I come on here let you ladies know niagra falls happens and we are off to hossy. I talk to the oncall on the drive she was a pia.. The one i HATE! I about kill my mom in the car due to the pain of the contrx. I thought iwas going to DIE! I get to the hossy not a damn wheelchair in sight! So i steel a valet chair. With a towel under me bc now my pad is full and overflowing on my pants. We get up to LD and the lady at the desk says "are you in pain?" NO SH#$ SHURLOCK! then she says "are you sure you did not pee on yourself?" lady if i have this much pee we are really in an emergency situation.. your bladder not supposed to do that! The lady walks me down to my room and i leave a water trail. (what she gets! ha!) I lay in the bed the nurse comes in and goes now how do you know she is breech? Umm just xray vision? I had an u/s! Well i was dilated to a 3. (big shocker.. had been for the longest!) And she could not feel the head.. although she tried and tried. I swear i am still sore from that! I ask her for pain meds she says wait on doc to call. U/s comes in and verifies position and the room starts moving pretty fast. The u/s nurse goes what is wrong. i am in pain.. she says hun labor is not meant to be fun and unpainful. Oh ladies i about kill the nurse! The nurse made me labor for almost 3hrs with NO DRUGS AT ALL! Knowing i was a freaking C! ERH! They finally roll me back at 730am get the spinal and some drugs.. AH! The doc starts cutting me..reaches in, has to stretch my muscles and tells that this is really going to hurt bc they dont usually have to cut and spread this far and then says omg..(not what you want to hear)then says alisha she is really small. Okay let me see dude. then pulls her out butt first and she is just this peanut..as my ob pulled her out he says alisha she is so tiny and a peanut! They wisk her to the nicu team and daddy. No one would tell me what was going on with her.. I could hear her cry so that kept me calm. Then nicu nurse comes and says here mom give her a kiss and off they went. Doc kicked my mom and my dh out bc i started hemorrhaging. He finally got that calmed down right before they put me under and then did my tubal (thank god!, i threatened him before the surgery that i would tie him to the bed if he did not do it!). While accessing my child and my placenta.. they determined she stopped growing somewhere about 34.5-35wks.. she had dangerously low glucose levels. they put a tube down just to get it down her bc they could not wait for her to suck on a bottle. then kenadie could not do the suck,swallow, breathe thing due to her being early and her growth stopped. but we got right on top of trying and they watched her like a hawk. They also said her jaundice levels were pretty high at day 2 and kept creeping up. 15 when we were dc. The day of dc the nurse comes in to tell me that kenadie has a murmur and they are concerned about this. She gives me the worst scenarios.. I was poed bc the doc did not say a thing. Come to find out the doc did chart it down but was going to tell me at the appt if it were louder. Alot of preemies have this issue and it goes away around day 3. The nurse took it upon herself to say something. So Friday they said it was worse but she is gaining weight and the jaundice was still at almost 15. The pedi also informed us had we waited till 11/11 we might not have had such a good outcome. So i guess my uterus was smart for one day! :)
Again so sorry for keeping you everyone hanging.
Here are her pics of the first week of life so far! :) http://s182.photobucket.com/albums/x185/alishaandaaron/Baby%20Kenadie%20Gayle%201st%20wk/

Today's update!

Hello all. So here is today's update. Her jaundice level is back at 15.5 which is good that it went down but still too high for her weight and what not. We are getting to do at home therapy again tonight and go see the doc tomorrow. She gained 2oz today also. So she weighs 5.5lbs right now. Heart still in the same condition.. loud murmur. Tomorrow we do a recheck. Oh yeah.. yesterday her umbilical cord started bleeding in the doc office so they put some stuff on it that paints it brown and dries the skin out around the cord. It FELL OFF TODAY! yay! So exciting!
Alisha

Kenadie's update! (same as pal)

Hey ladies. Well not so good news on the jaundice front. went from 15 to 18.5 and no weight gain. she wanted her to gain an oz a day. Nada not a gram. :( Then we listen to her ticker.. still very loud. her eyes keep looking as if they are bruised sometimes. she said that can be very normal in babies that small.. when they grunt of groan and stuff. So now we are doing homehealth care for tonight.. then re-eval tomorrow. If no weight gain and more jaundice then we have to talk about hossy options. she is really trying not to admit us.

Meet Kenadie Gayle

This is Kenadie Gayle. I dont have time to write the birth story as i am still in alot of pain and dont feel good. But i thought i would give a face with the name. :)