So this is a rambling post. I will wait to get back from the pedi's to discuss the diva. Lately my emotions are all over the place. The holidays being here are hard. Its hard knowing my son should be 1.5yro and he's not here. I seen some really cute boy toddler clothes and just longed to be able to buy them for my son. I see my relatives son and just have that tug. I sat and typed a text message to my godson's mom about how much he means to me and just cried.
I love the 3 children I have and I am so thankful for them. I thank God everyday that he let me have the 3 I have. But I do miss the one's I lost. The holiday season brings alot out in range of emotions. This would have been the fun thanksgiving and christmas. I see the joy that my godson's mom and dad have with their son and miss the fact that my husband does not get to experience that. We only get a paper that says our "embryo" was a male. I am not going to say I am jealous or not jealous. One thing that gets to me even though I know people are joking around is when they say oh you can only have girls huh?! We had discussed with someone about adopting through dhs in about 1.5 to 2yrs and they said oh you dont want to have any more girls huh. No you nip whit. I can't have anymore children.. It can KILL me. I think my children need a mother. :D
(was meant to be posted but forgot to push the post button! lol)
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