Merry Christmas and ramblings..

Hi there. So Merry Christmas first of all. We had a good day. The girls had such a blast opening their gifts. Aaron was a sweetheart and got me a leather jacket and a windbreaker suit that i wanted. :) Fun stuff. Genesis just had so much fun. She thought every gift was hers. It was so nice getting to talk to my family and have some fun. Much needed. So that is that.

Okay now.. Life has been hectic. With everything that has been going on. I had a bad cold/infection and it was crap. Took gene to urgent care and they misdiagnosed her. ERH! I could slap them. So we found out it was a sinus infection and not Pink eye. She had her christmas program and it was so cute! I can't belive my baby is getting so big. Then i went to the doc for my cold and she noticed a heart mumur. So she had me do all this bloodwork. We found out my B12 is really low. So now i have to take supplements for that. Then she wants me to talk to the ob about preventing another mc. But hello dont you think i have asked that???! So i had a stress test done and it went great! Today i had a u/s of my heart and we wont have the results on that for a while. He says tomorrow but i am thinking in medical terms that means 7-10days. lol. Just depends what they find right. So yeah. That is about that.
On the ttc front. I never got my peak on my fertility monitor and i am bummed. Aaron would not bd unless i had a peak. wth?? So yeah. We did bd one day and hope that is enough but prob not. Just kinda hoping that we get our BFP in 2008. Hopefully before the July deadline. I really want to do this on my own and not have surgery. So here it goes to another month of ttc.
On the healing on the m/c front. I just want to get back to the old me. I hate the new me. I can't stand being depressed when i see a pg woman. I can't stand not being happy for my cousin. You probably think the solution is be happy. Wish it was just that easy. My cousin was griping about the pg woes and how she would not wish this stuff on anyone. Well i wish i was just still pg. Then she calls and asks me about her baby shower list. HELLO. What part of lost my baby do you not get. I dont want to help with her shower list. Yes selfish but i have my reasons. She is due the same day i was. So yeah just feels like a knife cutting that wound. I just want to know when i am going to get a step up and feel better about all this. KWIM??
Well i think that is about it for now. I am going to go take a nap. I am so freaking tired.