My first post

Hi there. I am alisha 23 years old. I am a wife of 5yrs to aaron 32 yro. I have three children. Genesis who is 2.5yro, alexus who is 13mths, and an angel named Angel Robert who went to heaven on 9/20/07.
We have many dogs, cats, and any other thing that you can think about. We are very laid back people.
While writing my blog and posting my journey on how i am healing and couping and ttc another baby, i ask a few things... I ask that if you dont like what i say click the x in the upper right hand corner as it is a freedom of speech. Please dont leave comments if you dont have anything nice to say. You are more than welcome to follow my blog and go through the triumphs and tradgedies of my family. We would love to have the support. If you ever need pregnancy loss support just email me through my profile or leave a comment.

Now a little history on what is going on and happening. Genesis is amazing and she is learning things new every day, oh and she has her own little personality. Then Alexus is following right behind her. Kinda funny how they act toward each other. So yeah.
Well when i 17 yro (or about then) i found out i have endometriosis. Scar tissue that grows to cover the uterus and such. So when i met my husband and we decided we wanted children we were told NOW not LATER! So we did. We did every sort of hormone, sex regimen, diet, cross your legs this or that way. We did IT! lol. So after surgery 2-22-04 to get pg, 6weeks later we got pg with Ms. Genesis. Had a very rough time keeping this kid in! She wanted OUT! Then i happily breastfed her for a while then found out i was having a right side kidney issue. So i had to quit. Then we found out the endo had grown back while pg and then while breastfeeding when it is not supposed to happen. Yeah my freaking great! So my doc says Now or Never again. So we have surgery 12-2-05 and get pg 3 weeks later. We had a battle again with preterm labor and then had a healthy baby then too. So my hb and i decide eh i think we are done for 5yrs. I longed to have a 3rd child and wanted a boy but i knew that hb did not. So i was in ultimate pain lately and decided to make a hysterectomy consult. We had decided enough was enough and we were going to do it. The appt was supposed to be on 9-10-07 but on 8-31-07 i found out i was pregnant NATURALLY! My first response was HOLY SHIT! At first i did not understand. Something in my body told me to take a test. I had not had a period at all since giving birth to alexus (9/06). So that is what i did. Many of them too. So yeah. I freaked and my husband freaked. Then we were so excited! We called the doc and i was very cautious this time around i dont know why. I went in and found out i was 5wks and 3days pregnant. So exciting. Then a few more weeks goes by and i am about to go on vacation. I was going to figure out how to tell my inlaws, friends, and family. Well we went in for a normal u/s on 9/19 and that is when my life went to hell and back. I went in thinking okay this is going to be a good u/s. I had a gut feeling in my car that SOMETHING was very WRONG! but i was like just jitters. The u/s tech poked and proded and there was my lil bean. Then she says i need a vaginal u/s. Got me to wondering but okay. Then says she needs doc to come and look at it. So he sits us in the room. (NEVER GOOD) and says your baby has passed away. He just up and left. He had to go do a delivery. HELLO! My heart feels like it has gotten the shit ripped out of it and you walk away. ERH! So after the delivery he comes in and talks to us saying this and that about the baby. Then scheduled my dnc for 9/20. So i went to the hosp at 3pm and had my dnc done about 530pm. Angel Robert went to heaven at 530pm on 9/20. I dont know a day that i dont miss this angel. This little life touched my heart so deeply. I cry about every day and miss him so much.
I have gone to a couple support groups. They have been wonderful especially PRIDE. Just great. My family has been my life line through this all. My husband has been the husband i could just dream of. I have a necklace in rememberance of my son. (i deemed him my son!) I hold it very close to my heart!
Okay well that is my history on that. So now i will post about the road to recovery, dealing with life, ttc, and my grief with everything.
thanks
Alisha