An update on me and our life.

Hello. We are living. So that's the good part. Russ and i had our union on June 23rd. It was beautiful. Small..we missed having those that could not make it.
We are trying to out together a party a housewarming/oklahoma reception type of thing. We shall see. We are all still settling in our rolls. Adjustments. The kids are doing pretty good with it. Russ is a wonderful bonus male role model for them..their dad does a good job too.
Speaking of we had alexus birthday dinner and it went great. I am glad their dad n i have a relationship to where we can do things together still. Coparenting is much easier too. :)
So genesis had her parent teacher conference and it went great. Alexus has some things we need to work on as she has a learning disability, they don't want to give her help until 1st grade which is so irritating. Other than that they are doing great. We also downloaded some learning apps for alexus tablet she got..i am loving that thing.
Kenadie is doing good. She has her moments..moments when her muscles give out, moments she pours sweat when doing nothing. Her most scary incident lately is the blood in urine. She had to go to er. She was dehydrated. :( her liver came back streaked on a test and her kidney was questionable so we are having to keep a very close eye on her. We go to Ohio in october and hopefully they will have answers.
She is so fiesty. Loves to run, jump, do whatever her body allows her to do and then some.
We did another first. We took them to the fair. She rode the Farris wheel and loved it. I love watching her face light up. 

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a first for the diva.

i wrote this post i dont know where it went. i am guessing hyperspace. hmm.

so while we were in north carolina kenadie went to the ocean. my inner self was freaking out so bad. the bacteria, the sand, the rocks, how will she react?! well i calmed myself down and just said go with it. so we get there we all go out to the ocean water. she loves it. she didnt care two winks about the sand on her feet or the rocks. she absolutely loved it and bonded with her godpapi as she calls him and ms leah her buddy. they were two peas in a pod. mostly at the ocean though she had godpapi runnimg back and forth from the ocean. when we told her it was time to go she was so upset. mom i love the beach and feel free. i bet kid. she did get her first kiss of sun.

as i seen her enjoying these moments i cherished  them all. one thing kenadie has taught me is you dont know when the next time you will have them if ever. i cherish  everything my kids do now. i am a total different mom. i am the mom that crys at first. i hid my tears of joy at the ocean until i went to bed. i cried hard. just seeing my baby so happy especially as much as she has going on.

i also got the opportunity to bond more with Cameron (godpapi) and his awesome wife leah. cameron is my cousin who is enlisted in the marines and stationed at camp lejune. he came the day k went flatline at duke. she was in his arms drawing. ever since they have had a great bond. he was there for her check up after pm didnt leave her side. he got back from deployment before this round of check up and was there every moment.

her dr appt was so frustrating as the dr was mad he was not kept in the loop. so they did some bw and it came back craptastic. then referred us to the leader in immunology in the US. we wait for her to accept her. then go from there.i am somewhat against it. like why bother. her immuno has a baseline going. yes its so dangerous in the position that we are in. first good infection and we are out of the fight. but her poor body has been through so much.

so we wait to hear what is going on.

after clinic we hunted down some food had a great drink and they took her shopping..they had a blast. then after her halter was taken off she went swimming and loved that too.

she keeps saying mom i miss godpapi and Leah. i cant wait to go to the beach again. i cant either. she was so happy careless and free.

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A one time post addressing my personal life.

hello all. i have been quite the busy woman. so i feel like its time to address my personal life. give you a little insight to why i have been missing in action.

over 3 years ago i realized that my marriage was in trouble. we married as best friends/lovers when i was 18. we have been through so much. me not being able to achieve my dream of a military career due to a huge injury to my leg while in the army. then infertility. then miscarriage..a number of things. the toll finally took on it. the day i said i do we made a pact that if either of us were unhappy we tell each other and leave it before we got to anger and dispise. so we did. i would keep my promise. after lots of counseling individual and marital i made the decision that was best for me and us. i felt the resentment building. i never wanted to lose my best friend.

we remained roommates and vowed to keep our lives to appear as normal as we can for our children. i always preached to the kids to live every day like its their lasy. be happy with who you are. who am i if i can't do that myself. so finally.

i decided i was ready to date after being separated and divorced. i dated a few. but as a person who has two special needs kids i was not looking for anything afterall who would commit to that. so anywho. i met this guy named russ. he was a friends friend. we started hanging out. we had no intention on dating or anything. one thing has led to another and he treats me like a queen. he respects my childrens father. knows we are great friends. he knows i dont need him to be my kids father they have one and a good one at that. we have a serious relationship. he n i will become one soon. i know people disagree with this and thats ok. you will have your opinon and i have mine and i am doing what is best for me and my family and thats all that matters  if you would like to support us that's great. 

any questions please dont hesistate to ask. i am planning on blogging about my family more often now that we are more settled in our roles.

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Happy Heart Day plus an update

Today I look at Valentines day at more than just a day for love. My child has had her beating heart in the dr's gloved hands twice now. We pray no more. However it means awareness to me. So many families have to go through the struggles of having a heart child. Its not easy! But they are awesome fighters.
So since I last posted kenadie did end up with the URI (upper resp infection) but she beat it better than any of us. Thanks to her liquid gold that she gets infused. lol. Kenadie also has gained all her weight back from being sick. Then we went out of town. Not for medical. We came back and crap very very ill. She is still fighting it a week and a half later. She gets infused tomorrow.
We got her bloodwork results a couple weeks ago. Those were not too helpful. Her cd 4:8 ratio is horrid! the dr said not just crappy but horrific. He is so perplexed as to what is going on. So we go see them Feb 21. They are testing for rarer forms of immuno issues.
Genesis is doing great. She scored 5 buckets this past saturday. Alexus just had her ADD meds changed and is doing so much better! Its amazing what can happen when you have focus.
I on the other hand have had some issues with my health. They are doing some heart testing, brain testing to see what is going on. I am pretty nervous as i am THE caretaker! ugh. What am i going to do. I have a small family network. I love them to pieces but I don't like putting weight on them. Just scared.

The weekend in review.

Today I start school. Another step to my goal of getting my NP. Its going to be hard as i will be starting my day at 5am and getting home at 9pm. Gonna miss seeing my babies on Tuesdays. Their dad will be taking the older ones to basketball practice. K will be staying with her ms sherry.
Speaking of basketball the girls had their first game this weekend. They did an awesome job. Genesis scored 4 times. I was such a proud momma. She got the basketball gene from her mom and dad! :) Alexus is a great defender. She had quite a few blocks.
After the game we went to spend time with some family that came into town. I love spending time with them. As a child growing up I was not close with this part so I really enjoy getting to get closer with them and having them be a great part of our lives even if they live hours away. My aunt was there for me in such a major way when kenadie was small and we can never express our gratitude for her. So we really enjoy seeing them and letting her see the girls flourish.
Sunday we ended up taking alexus to the ER. She was having some resp distress. So she had to go. Really bad bronchitis for her. The next day I woke up and sicker than a dog. ugh. I still feel like monkey doo.
Btw kenadie had a dr appt on friday and she did great. gained a couple of lbs back that she lost while being sick. We still have to keep a very close eye on her and she is seeing the dr weekly until she recovers. She started showing some signs of bronchitis last night and this morning. I am praying we can keep it under wraps. Well off to work.

moms day at the doctor

Today is my day at the doctor. December 9th i had a minor obstruction in my bowels. The 10th one that i have had. So I went back to my gi after not seeing him for 3 years. I focus so much energy on kenadie and the girls that i have let my health run down. So I will be going to get the small bowel follow through and they will decide to remove some adhesions. If i dont get my diet and exercise down then i will have to have a colon rescetion. This really sucks bad. I am so stressed about my job, kenadie who is still having some issues from salmonella, and my life in general. Did I mention i am taking 6 hours of school again to work towards my NP?! Yep guess I am insane. I am also trying to make the decision not to work full time and go to float pool. It would allow me to take more time at school and be more free to do k trips however its a huge cut of income. With things going on in my house right now I am spinning my wheels. ugh.
Also i called the charity airlines about trying to get some help for the march flights and they said they actually might be able to. I am praying hard!

A new year and a recap

Since my last post 6.5 months ago. Again if you still read anything on here i am so sorry for the lack of updates. Life has been ever changing in this house. I passed my boards, got a job, made some difficult family decisions. Kenadie was diagnosed with a primary immuno disease in august i do believe. She had her port put in october 15th. That was a long drawn out ordeal alone. She has been to the hossy a few times since but did well. Then she thought ringing in the new year in the hospital would be good. ugh. She spiked a fever on thursday before genesis birthday part then was severely sick. Took her to the pedi n he did cultures. He said wait and see how the weekend went. So she got worse we took her in 1/1/12. They diagnosed her with salmonella during her stay. I can't tell you how at a loss i felt. She has so much going on this is one thing she did not need. I felt like i didn't protect my child like i am supposed to. How i am supposed to check her food at all times i don't know but as a mom i just felt that way. They drew some lab work to send off to a special lab where only one in the u.s. does this lab. I am praying and hoping for answers. I am going to definitely try to update my blog more often. It wont be all centered on kenadie. It might be about me or whatever just our lives in general. I again give a forewarning my mouth is in need of a cleansing. So please know your forewarned. lol.