I love these lyrics.

Matthew West - MoreFrom the album Happy
Take a look at the mountainStretching a mile high
Take a look at the ocean
Far as your eye can see
And think of me
Take a look at the desert
Do you feel like a grain of sand?
I am with you wherever
Where you go is where I am
And I'm always thinking of you
Take a look round you I'm spelling it out one by one
CHORUS:I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today and tomorrow
I'll say it again and again
I love your more
Just a face in the city
Just a tear on a crowded street
But you are one in a million
And you belong to me
And I want you to know
That I'm not letting go
Even when you come undone
Repeat Chorus
I love you more, yeah
Shine for me
Shine for me
Shine, you shine, you shine for me
Repeat Chorus
I love you more than the sun
And the stars that I taught how to shine
You are mine, and you shine for me too
I love you yesterday and today through the joy and the pain,
I'll say it again and again
I love you more
I love you moreI see you, and I made you
And I love you more than you can imagine
More than you can fathom
I love you more than the sun
And you shine for me

I was having an issue with my diva this am.. she is having motteling going on with her and i heard this song on K love. I love it. I love my diva more than she will ever know.

Sit tight for a long post! Plus ms K is 6 mos today!

Good morning. So i am in a blogging mood today. So much on my brain. Hmm where to start. I will update about our weekend first.

So Friday I finally went to the doctor for myself. She thinks I could be diabetic. Eh whatever. But i will keep an eye on it. I had a sinus infection and she raised my zoloft up. Gotta keep this momma sane! lol. Then friday evening the girls did not want to come home with me. They wanted to stay at granddad's. Okay fine. So he let them. Aaron and I went and picked some things up from the store with ms k. It is such a difference when you only have one child. lol. Then saturday morning aaron and I went to breakfast with ms K. Went home and took a nap. After that one of the residents i work for asked to keep kenadie for a bit. So we went to dr. r's house. She had a good time. She was there for 2.5hrs. I had a panic attack and had to pick her up. Baby steps i will have to take. After that i went to pick up the other two kids and drop them off at home. I went to see my dad. And that is where my life goes back to hellish!
I walked in his room and notice he is laboring really hard to breathe. I ask my mom how long it has been like this she says for a while and that she could not get anyone to come in. So i go get the nurse. His pulse ox is 66! WTH! Then the resp girl and I got into it. She thought he was fine! Maybe a bit stressed. Umm what. His pulse ox is supposed to be 96! So i told her i want something done and NOW! I demanded the supervisor and finally got things on the road. They did an EKG and that showed bumpy waves, then their was NO breath sound around his left lung, and his CO2 sats were horrible! I could beat me some nurses! What crap! So they rush my dad downstairs (ICU) due to him being on max O2 flow. While that is going on my mom starts spitting up big blood clots. So i rush her to the ER downstairs. They tell us have a seat and dont even do her bp. I call 911 they wont do anything because she is on hospital property which is crap! A gun shot victim was brought in by his "homies" bc he was shot in the leg. And i am sorry.. but the terd can sit in pain. He was dumb enough to go get himself shot. And yep i heard how he got shot straight from his "homies" mouth. *shakes head* Anywho they told us that they were too busy. Then went on divert. So we got to St. Anthony's and they were of course busy. No nothing can be damn easy. We got there about 8pm and did not getback to a room till about 245am. My mom was in alot of pain. But of course was like first come first serve. I am sorry but a woman spitting up blood clots and dizzy is a little more acute than a kiddo that hurt his eyeball. Call me cold or whatever. Anywho.. her sinuses are full of blood right now due to how her face is fractured. So i finally got home around 9am sunday morning. Only about 2hrs wink of sleep yesterday and then told aaron i was going to bed early! That plan would have been great had ms k behaved her little self. She is just having issues with her belly. Poor girl just arches back and screams. I usually vent her tube and put some tummy meds in there and she is all better. Then a lovely family member of mine called. Lets call this person.. C. C called to say alisha i am so tired of my child only wanting to eat mac and cheese and chicken nuggetts.. umm i am sorry. I would love for kenadie to be able to eat all her meals by mouth. Sorry not much sympathy coming from me. Then C says how are the girls doing with the wreck. I tell her that genesis thinks every brown man is going to hit her. C says just tell her to get over it and to get in the car. What excuse me? Then proceeds to say if you are going to die or whatever then that is the way God has it. Umm excuse me?! What?! Come again?! I thought icould not hear the most insensitive crap in my life. So like one advised me.. I pay for Caller ID for a reason and use it! lol. Some people get to me. Then when she was asking about kenadie she says well she weighs more than so and so and just think she is alive and not mentally retarded. Come on.. I have been through hell and I really dont want to hear this crap. Yes she is alive and yes she is not retarded. But they are still issues to us that is hard to deal with. I am finding it is easier for someone to say stupid stuff when they have not been through it. So I found myself crying my little heart out after that phone call.
So today has been a typical monday of sorts. Satin oh i mean co-worker.. is being herself. But I am not letting it ruin today. Kenadie is 6mo old! I am so proud of my heart diva! 4 mo ago i would have not thought that my cv-icu baby would be 6mo old! Go ms K!

An update on everyone

Hello all. The update is here on my dad and family. My dad is in the step down unit. He has several injuries. He has a chest tube at the minute to help with the fluid on his chest. My mom is out of the hospital but is going to have to have surgery on her face and knee in due time. Her left oribital bone (eye socket) is fractured. She is in alot of pain. They have her on a pain patch. Genesis (my 4yro) thinks that everytime we go in the car we might get into a wreck. Which makes me a very mad mother. My child should not have those fears at the age of 4!!! Also she had a pretty big bruise on her abdomen. Alexus has a laceration on the head that should have had stitches but the trauma team did not even clean it or anything. I know their main focus was life threatening injuries but please clean a deep cut. Also her hand got injured. Pedi says that she probably just bruised it. So now i am trying to also help with my grandma's care because my mom usually does it and she is out of commission and my grandma is very picky due to some very good reasons who handles her doctor appointments and stuff. So for right now we have grandma taken care of also.
Ms K.. well hell that is a whole nother story. Ms K is having issues with her G tube. So we go see the surgeon on Tuesday at 1pm. He will let us know when he is available to do the surgery. So we should have a specific date for that. When they do they might have to redo her pyloricstonotomy (loosen tube that goes from stomach to bowel) due to her slowly digesting her feeds. They are also going to scope her little tummy and keaster. She is slowly getting over her respitory virus that she had. Still needing her neb treatments. K will be going back to vascular in may. We have decided it is time. Ms k does not like holding her O2 stats when she is held upright and her bp goes north when doing so too. So here we go onthis wildride again.
I am also taking my nursing school entrance exams soon. Please pray i make it in because Lord knows i have a great fund of knowledge but only a business degree. So I am ready. It would be such a blessing to my family.
Thank you everyone for supporting us through this journey! We appreciate it all!

Finally getting a minute

Hello all. I am finally getting a minute to update about our crazy weekend. First off Ms K went to the heart walk this weekend. We had such a blast. We are holding another fundraiser. We are going to make t-shirts that say help fight ped heart disease. They will go on sale next week. All sizes are available. I will post the website when i have it.
So now comes my weekend and week thus far. Ms K had a severe allergic reaction to the meds on sunday. She destatted and had to go to the hossy. While i was at the hossy i recieved a call that my mom, dad, and kids were involved in an accident and a very serious one at that. They had to use the jaws of life. Now this was horrific to me as i am here at a hossy with my daughter and my husband left his keys in the diaper bag. It sucked! So I called one of my attendings who called a resident of mine and he helped us so much. My mom was hit by a drunk illegal alien who left the scene of the accident. Luckily he showed up to the hospital to get some care. I am very angry right now and have a bit of hatred going. My dad is in the step down unit now. So he is progressing in the right direction. My mom and dad have extensive injuries that are going to require rehab and stuff. My kids only have minor scratches and bruises thank God for carseats.
Ms K is pretty sick right now with respitory issues. We have an appt tomorrow. So please pray for my sanity right now.

Gtube infection and another surgey on the horizons and a bit of a rant

So the title really explains it all. We went to a local hospital one that i love and is a 2nd home almost. They got us in fast due to her not needing to be around germs. The doc came in and says wow that hb is fast. Hmm yep. Oh btw her temp went back down but we still had a pulse of 196 while sleeping. So not good. Anywho. She does not have traces pneumonia at this time. And umm she does have an infection so we have to keep an eagle eye on that.
So yesterday we go to our pedi.. the pedi calls our surgeon for the gtube and what do you know. He says he has to take it out and redo it. Well this sounds easy right?! Wrong! When you have a heart child. NOTHING is easy! They have to take extra precaution especially when it comes to the diva. So she has three more scripts that she has to take. She is getting a bigger gtube also to help with some of the drainage stuff.
Okay here is my rant... Yesterday I am at the mall.. We were walking.. Kenadie was fussing and so i decided to let her comfort nurse. Although she does not get a whole lot of her calories this way we still try often. But trust me i was not in anyway exposing myself. I have the watch dog aaron. lol. So we are over by the little toy machine things and some employees from chickfila were making fun of me and making comments. Finally i was like how immature are you for snickering and staring and making fun of a mother. I am just damn happy i can try. I did tell them if my nursing bothered them thenthey needed to put a blanket over their heads. (thanks ivillage!)
So my other rant and loads of rambling because i need to get it off my chest.. hmm lets say person X (for confidentiality reasons, due to family members reading this) calls me and says i am so irritated. I have two children one that is healthy as a horse and another one who is sick all the time. I am like oh yeah.. She says I hate that she has sniffles and sneezes. HUH?! Okay please I know that having a sick child is hard.. Do i know that. But please dont call me and complain about your child. I was like yeah Kenadie is sick too and it sucks. She was like oh you dont understand. Okay.. sure. Then person X was like alisha..remember you wanted Kenadie and you signed up for this. Hmm so what did i want to tell her.. Hefer I did not call you.. You called me. I was not complaining. You were. But what did i say. NADA! Then the unmentionable question was asked yet fing again! Do you think that your meds caused this?! Okay.. I am going to get a recording so when some dumbass says something I can press the response i have prerecorded. Also please dont ask me for an update if you dont want to hear the good and the bad. Kenadie has days where she does great! Where i can say oh she held her bottle. But we have many setbacks. so when i have to convey those.. Dont yell at me about them. I cant help it! Being a heart mom is not an easy job! If your not with me and support me in a positive manner go the heck away! Example.. family member E gets mad because i forget to give updates then yells at me. How i am not keeping them in the loop and how i am not being a good _______. Ask any heart mom out there you have too much on your plate to make sure every tom pick and harry and informed. If you know i speak to a certain relative ALL the time.. heck call them and make my life a bit more easier. Also dont tell me i am TOO EMOTIONAL. You try going through what my husband and I am going through and then let me know that i am too emotional.
Okay.. I am done griping right now!

Oh i love it when the diva is being a diva! Plus a few pics!

Btw if you can not tell by now.. That is load of SARCASIM! So yesterday my grandma says that the diva is really sleepy and had only had 3 bottles. What... GMA SHE HAS A TUBE FOR A REASON! But my gpa refuses to force feed my daughter. I dont think he gets it that she is a special needs child! I mean I am learning to accept the fact that no she is not like everyone else and yes she has some needs and demands that are different from my others. Hello this is not new. It has been going on for what.. Almost 6 MONTHS! So we get home last night. Nope does not want to eat. Okay you asked for it. She is getting tube feeds now. :( Then her pump decided to go ape nuts last night.. Speaking of I am going to call her home supplies company and let them know that i have a pos for a feeding pump. Actually while i am typing this i am on the phone with them now. So anyways. I gave her some boluse feeds and she was okay. I thought she was running on the warm side of things last night. But kind of blew it off. Then today nope I was right. She has a 102 Fever. Now my little lady is not supposed to run a temp above 99.5 due to her precious little diva self. So she better get this in check or her pedi says to the hossy we will go. hmmph! Now i called her home health nurse this morning for her to come check her out. She was like she is a baby she is going to get sick. And i related that back the pedi. Oh she is hot! She is like we can not and will not throw caution to the wind with the diva. She said i tried that once before and it bit her in the ass. So she says not on her watch will she allow it! So i have a feeling that a home health nurse is getting her arse chewed on and spit back out. So i will wait to find out what we are going to do. I feel a blood draw coming on.

So as soon as i get off work i think we are headed to the ER. Her pedi says no rush but she is not comfortable now that it is 102.8

Hello All!

Hello! Another week started. I hope everyone had a great easter. Mine was good. So I shall catch you up from Wednesday on.
Ms K had to go to the doc on Wednesday evening due to an infection in her eye. We then decided that she is going to go to Cleveland Clinic for her purpling issues. Her pedi was so happy to see her. She says I missed my baby. Umm my baby thanks! lol. We put K's eye drops in and her eyes almost swell shut. Okay severly allergic to Vigamox. Then my tooth broke and I was in some excruciating pain. Thursday morning I went to the dentist accompanied with my kids godmother and they pulled all four wisdom teeth. OUCH! Is all I can say. Honestly it was better than that nagging pain. Then I went to the Gyn well I did not like what he said. He says a hysto is in my very near future. I dont want to part with my "ziploc container" as my father in law says. I dont know why. I mean tubes can be untied these days but as far as I know there is no such thing as a uterine transplant. lol. I know I don't want anymore bilogical children but I just am not ready. I am in my 20's.. Maybe when i turn 30.
So Friday I decided to take my kiddos and I up to tulsa to see family. We had a great drive with my mom. Kenadie wanted to be a diva in her seat as usual. Turkey butt. We got there and then she decided oh wait I am going to leak my G tube everywhere. It was really hot and red. I was like damn we can't go anywhere without drama! lol. So we are waiting on our home health nurse to come look at it still. Saturday she decided that she wanted to change a bit of color, sweat, and have her G tube go nuts. AH! Fun right.. not! lol.
I am so tired after it all too. I need some good sleep. Sleeping on a couch.. does not get you too far.