Hello to anyone who reads this blog. just some ramblings today.. Today i am 7dpo and not feeling a bit of ips (imaginary preg symptoms) so i am taking it as i am out. I always know right on yes or no. Well minus the surprise with angel though. Just tired all the time with him. :) So today is a bit of a weepy day. I dont know if it is the rain or what. Just kinda sucks. I have been doing so good with my grieving (well lack of it). It seems as though i have just put it in the closet and nailed down the door. Well of course until today. I dont know why i supress things. I just do. It is just my way of coping.
I got maddy's certificate in my email today. I could literally feel my heart sink. It was like alisha no you are not pg any more.. Thanks for the realization.. I appreciate it! The certificate means alot to me. Means that my baby will be acknowleged as a baby and not tissue! My goal is to go to New York.. which defnitely might be happening. My dh and i are trying to decide where we want to go for my edd. I think that we definitely might go to new york sometime though. Maybe in late summer or so.. Maybe on the 1yr.
Also one of the docs today got her 8wk 5 day u/s and she showed me the u/s. Now before anyone says anything.. No i am not mad or anything. It is just a bitter pain. I went in for my 8wk us and found out that Angel was gone. I would not ever get to meet him. So seeing that bean.. oh made me yearn so bad for that again. Brought up a bunch of memories. Which hense this post. lol.
tomorrow is the appt. We shall see how this is going to run.
Thanks for reading!
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