(i started this post the other day but the diva came calling!) Hello all. First i have to celebrate the fact that yesterday marked 9 months post op! I am so excited. The first year is the scariest from what I have been told then you slowly move out of the danger zone. But remember it is K so we kinda always stay there! lol.
So lately life has been nuts. K had pneumonia and we were trying to treat that. Then she lost all of her fluids a week ago friday. So we had to run to the ER for that. We were there until 445 and they made us be in an office 30mins away from us by 8am. It sucked. So we went there and they gave her a shot. Then I was at her aunt tonya's baby shower and her daddy called saying her tube fell out while she was sleeping and that i needed to come home. Well i came home and low and behold the whole thing include some granulomas were out saying hello to where i could not place it back in. So yeah that was another er trip.
Then we seen the pedi in office this past wednesday. All i can say is i am so frustrated right now. Her nurse drives me nuts and everything is being blamed on her AD. Then we are waiting on Dallas for her tube. Finally after me yelling at them 5 times this week we finally got the call that they got it in. So we are leaving for dallas tomorrow for the placement. I am ready but i am so scared. I am out of my element yet again. What if i fail at this or something. Ugh. When i get comfy with my daughter they go and change things.
I have a vent right quick.. If you think i am getting personal nursing care because i dont want to take care of my daughter you can go jump off the highest building there is. I am getting nursing care for her so i can be a mother to her and not a nurse all the time. I want to know what it is tobe a mom to my child. Not just a caretaker and advocate.
My heart is hurting right now bc i honestly can't tell you within the past 11 months where i have truely just been able to enjoy my baby. We have moments but that is about it. That is one thing i want to be able to do.
So lately life has been nuts. K had pneumonia and we were trying to treat that. Then she lost all of her fluids a week ago friday. So we had to run to the ER for that. We were there until 445 and they made us be in an office 30mins away from us by 8am. It sucked. So we went there and they gave her a shot. Then I was at her aunt tonya's baby shower and her daddy called saying her tube fell out while she was sleeping and that i needed to come home. Well i came home and low and behold the whole thing include some granulomas were out saying hello to where i could not place it back in. So yeah that was another er trip.
Then we seen the pedi in office this past wednesday. All i can say is i am so frustrated right now. Her nurse drives me nuts and everything is being blamed on her AD. Then we are waiting on Dallas for her tube. Finally after me yelling at them 5 times this week we finally got the call that they got it in. So we are leaving for dallas tomorrow for the placement. I am ready but i am so scared. I am out of my element yet again. What if i fail at this or something. Ugh. When i get comfy with my daughter they go and change things.
I have a vent right quick.. If you think i am getting personal nursing care because i dont want to take care of my daughter you can go jump off the highest building there is. I am getting nursing care for her so i can be a mother to her and not a nurse all the time. I want to know what it is tobe a mom to my child. Not just a caretaker and advocate.
My heart is hurting right now bc i honestly can't tell you within the past 11 months where i have truely just been able to enjoy my baby. We have moments but that is about it. That is one thing i want to be able to do.
2 comments:
*HUGS*
Thinking of you today!
I know you're doing everything you can for K and the rest of your family. Keep your head up, Alisha!
Hope everything goes well in Dallas.
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