So as a pregnant women usually is very hormonal.. i got plenty of that going my way. I am very moody and hormonal. Sometimes it even gets on my own nerves. lol. But anyways.
Lately i have been feeling blah. Nervous and scared. I know there is nothing i can do. But pray and pray. I just feel like i am waiting for the other shoe to drop. kwim. Like when am i going to get the bad news. I dont ever want to get that news again in my lifetime but i just feel that way. Personally tired of people telling me to stop too bc there are so NOT and have never been in my shoes. Right now i am dealing with my cousin who gave birth to a baby and i was supposed to have mine around the same time. Then my cousin on my dad's side found out she was pregnant and you would guess it right around the time that Maddy would have been born in september. Smack one smack two. Both of which were unexpected pregnancies. Now there is one i am so excited about. My cousin she is due in November. Very expected. But then again i am nervous. Like in my mind it goes well i have been pregnant with a cousin each time. Each time no good. So this really makes me nervous. I am really praying that I can walk down the street and we can compare big ole bellies when i am 7mths or so. :) you know i might just do that one time too. (we dont work too far from each other) LOL. I so look forward to her appts and so excited to hear all the details that she is willing to share but when it comes to mine i am nervous as all freaking get out. So scared that i am going to get bad news. Then it will feel rather weird again. I so DONT want that at all. Tonight i am just full of nerves and wonders. I wonder if i do carry this one will it all go okay. Will i carry to term but the same moment i even slightly think that i say no alisha we are not looking that far into the future dont want to get your heartstrings ripped out. Although at this point i probably would. But anywho that is how i am feeling tonight. I am so ready for this part of the worries to be over.
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