Hi today. Today is a good day i guess. I had my appt yesterday and it went good i guess. Doc says everything is fine and yes my endo is back. So guess what... it is going to be harder to concieve! Just frustrating to me. I want the baby i lost back. ERH. Anywho.
So yesterday i had my temp shift after a dip which i was somewhat optomistic. but of course my body gives me a low ass temp this morning and bam cramping begins! I am so upset. I just want to be preggo again.
I have had a good cry and told my dh how i feel. I feel like he is not putting his all into this process. Bitches and moans about having sex. Okay if you dont want to have sex with your wife then F YOU. (i am just frustrated right now!) I am going to through crap trying to get pg and he just has to have an orgasim! I know it is probably more complicated then this. ;) But at any rate i am just frustrated and i want to gripe about it. That is what my blog is for.
Oh i was told "you already have 2 kids why gripe and belly ache." uh hello. i dont think anyone should be putting me down or shooting my feelings down bc i already have two kids. that does not make infertility hurt less. Just means i went through hell and back and now i have two precious earth angels and one heaven angel now. I want one more!
I have done some thinking though. I want to focus more on my schooling and not all just on ttc. My grades are suffering and that is not good bc i want to be more than what i am right now. I hate being a secretary! not for me! I want to feel important and do something that i love!
I am going to attempt to not dwell on the process as much next month. Just do my CBEFM.
I want this baby bad but i dont want to risk my marriage and miss that bond with the children that i do have. I feel like i obsess on this matter so much that i dont really give my full attn to where it needs to be.
Have fun and GO OU. game is tom night!
About Me
- hancock_alisha
- Hi there. I am alisha. I have five children. Genesis, alexus,an angel named Angel Robert who went to heaven on 9/20/07,an angel named Maddy 1/6/08, and then a special needs daughter Kenadie (10/27/08). We have many dogs, cats, and any other thing that you can think about. We are very laid back people. While writing my blog and posting my journey on how i am healing and couping , i ask a few things... I ask that if you dont like what i say click the x in the upper right hand corner as it is a freedom of speech. Please dont leave comments if you dont have anything nice to say. You are more than welcome to follow my blog and go through the triumphs and tradgedies of my family. We would love to have the support. If you ever need pregnancy loss support just email me through my profile or leave a comment. Thank you. Alisha
1 comment:
I am glad your appt went well but I understand you frustration with your temp dip. I do agree that, although hard, it's important to focus on other things in our lives during this difficult ttc time. Sometimes when we shift our focus away from ttc is when it happens. Take care..lots of hugs!
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