Held a baby!

Today for the first time since my m/c i held a baby for a few breif moments. I work for a neuro clinic and this poor baby was here to get an eeg due to having a stroke at birth. She is just so beautiful. This baby would not stop crying so i stepped outside my office and just had to love on this baby. (mother's loving kwim?) so i went and held this baby and a whirl wind of emotions just wrapped me. It made me realize how much i wanted this again. How much i wanted to hold my baby again and i will never get to. I did not shed one tear in front of that daddy's face. I told him what a good daddy he was being and how much she is so beautiful and such. Right now i just want to sit and have a good cry. To feel the warmth and love come from such a tiny baby. When that baby looked me in the eyes i was like omg i wont get this. But in the same breath it kind of gave me a feeling of that everything is and will be okay. kwim? I wanted to annoucing that i could feel the kicks and such this week but i wont get to. My heart really hurts at the moment.
Oh i think i am in the 2ww also with the ttc. So we shall see.
Alisha