Hi all. I was having a wonderful day today. Well until my fil has to call. Yeah oh yeah good. So i asked him if he can watch the girls thursday night while i go to pride. (m/c support group) He says why are you still going to that? Well bc i miss my fricking baby wth do you think i am going. He wonders why i just cant get over it. Well it was my baby not his that he lost. It was his grandbaby which he will never acknoledge. I think i just might show him that damn u/s so he can see that there was a freaking baby in there. KWIM! My heart hurts. ERH! I thought i was doing so good. I was talking to a friend last night and was able to talk about my angel and be okay with it. I even showed her my u/s pic. I felt proud that was my baby for that long. Why oh why do people have to put you down.
I am so excited about going to PRIDE. My mom is going with me this week. She needs the support also. They miss their little angel. My mom has always been the supportive one for me. She is my best friend. So i definitely want her to be there with aaron and i. I know it will not be an easy meeting but at least she can see what we do. Everytime i cry and just dont think i can take it anymore i call her and she gives me a boost and vice versa. She knows that i want to be pregnant so bad again. (My fil does not know this and i could care less wether he knows or not, he is not my daddy and nor my husband). The way i am feeling about it right now. If i want to have 10 damn kids then i will. (if my hb wanted to but GOD knows i do not want 10! Just one more!)
Right now i am frustrated as hell. I just wish that he would keep his comments to hisself. And for notes sake... I AM NOT AND WILL NOT FORGET ABOUT MY CHILD I WONT BE ABLE TO HOLD, LOVE, AND CARE FOR!
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2 comments:
Ugh frustrating but oh so common. I thinkthe support groups are an awesome idea they allow us to openly talk about our angels with people who truly understand. I have come accept that there are people who will never reallly understand the grief and that its k... they don't have to understand becuase its my life, my babies, my way of dealing.
Big Hugs
You don't have to explain your feelings to your FIL - if he chooses not to support you than that is fine but he needs to keep his comments to himself. I am so glad that your mother is such a support for you as you need it right now. I am sending you lots and lots of hugs!
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