Missing my bean!

Hi there. I know you probably get tired of the same ole post but yeah. Gotta get it out somewhere. lol.
Today is just a up and down kinda day for me. I am sitting here just missing my bean. I was supposed to find out the gender in a couple of weeks so just frustrated right now. Also i get tired of hearing my family say well in this family we are all fertile. NO THE HELL WE ARE NOT ALL FERTILE or i guess i was adopted. They say just relax or all it took was having sex for us. Well NEWSALERT!!! I am having sex. ERH! Oh and mind you the descency of a cousin. She says do you miss your baby????!!!!WTF! How in the HELL do you ask someone a question like that. My only thought was would you miss your son if he passed away! ERH! I just want to cry my eyes out right now! But yeah.
I go to the doctor this thursday and well i am just plain not looking forward to it. I hate going there knowing that is where i found out i lost my baby at... Just the memories of that office just gives me the jibbies! But a girls has to do what a girl has to do. kwim. lol.

On the upside of things. Dh and i will be celebrating 5yrs offically married on Dec 6th. I am excited. I have his annv present already. Went out on black friday and had a wonderful time and got his present. He is so in for a shocker! lol. I cant wait to see his reaction. I would love to find out i am pg that day too. But eh oh well. Next month is always a try too. lol.
Alexus started walking really descent on t-day. It was awesome. And i was there to see it. I work full time so usually i get told about her first. Then genesis is starting to talk more into sentences now. I am so excited bc now she can communicate better with me! Yeah. She turns three at the end of december. How big she is getting.
Well i think that is about it for now.
alisha